29 June 2012


Of course, when I write a post about how much I like living in Singapore and how the benefits definitely outweigh the things that I miss most about living in the U.S., something like this happens and makes me want to leave here immediately! One thing mere inches in size made me contemplate life as it exists and consider moving. All I can say is: cockroach.

Paul and I have been here one year and three months, and I still have yet to see a live cockroach in our house. Paul, however, saw one last night and we were both beyond freaked out. I, of course, went into terrified mode – the kind of terrified that exists when a crazy serial killer is in my presence and I fear for my life (not that that has ever actually happened).

Paul, being the man, did not show his fear. He just calmly came into the kitchen, where I was doing a load of dishes that I had put off so long I forgot they existed, reached into the cabinet below me and started sorting through the container of cleaning supplies.
“What can I help you find?” I asked after watching for a few seconds. Then he pulled out the tall, green Raid spray bottle and headed away. I first thought that possibly our ants were back and thought of calling the exterminator. Then, something inside of me made everything stop. I had a thought, looked at Paul as he turned to leave and then said, “I don’t want to know, do I?” “No!” he immediately replied. It was then I knew…but I didn’t really know…I just assumed.

I turned on my listening ears and tried to hear where Paul was, truly hoping he was outside on the balcony off our bedroom. At least it is outside, I thought to myself. Then I heard a door close and I knew there was a foreign bug in my house.

Paul came back into the kitchen after a few minutes with a flashlight horrifying news. “I lost it,” he said. Frickin’ A.

He left with a Swiffer. Puzzled, I just tried to focus on the dishes and my plan to move.

When Paul came back minutes later to tell me it was over and the cockroach (confirmed) was in fact dead – I made him promise me it was dead and then asked if he was lying – I told him I was sleeping in the guest room that and he could join me if he wanted. He could choose not to, but he would be sleeping alone...in the room attached to the bathroom where said cockroach had been spotted. I then made him spray every doorway – inside leading to hallways and leading to the outdoors – with the bug spray and pulled up on my phone the 24-hour exterminator hotline.

Every room I walked into, I expected to see a cockroach. I was on high alert. When Paul and I had settled in for the evening and turned off the lights in our new room, I still expected to see cockroaches and fear hovered over me. Paul, being a good husband, tried to divert my attention but it did not work. In the dark, I was looking at the shadowy walls wondering if I would see something black and ovular. I wondered if I would hear the tiny sound of all of those legs flittering on the ledge behind my head.

I told him we needed to say a prayer for protection. He laughed at me and then let me proceed. I prayed in what came out as a five-year-old’s voice that we would not see another cockroach in our house ever again and for the fear to subside, which it slowly did.

Neither one of us slept well and, of course, I had to get up uber early, so we were both awake by 6:30, knowing that my craziness was the sole reason for our unrest. So, while the grass may be greener here in Singapore, there is nothing green about having a cockroach in my house.

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