07 October 2011


There was a time in my Singaporean life when I found myself feeling bummed and alone here. After the plane touched down, it seemed that we were immediately rushed into getting settled in our temporary house, rushed into finding a more permanent place to live and rushed into moving into our new home.

Once all of the boxes were unpacked and the shopping was done, I realized that I had fulfilled my unemployed housewife duties for the time being. Paul was off flying – a lot. He flew six trips the first month, which was what was contracted, but he was away from home for up to six days at a time and sometimes it just seemed like I was stranded on a deserted island in the middle of a city.

Without reliable Internet access or a smart phone, I often felt like I was stuck in the house. If I went out, it was on a whim and sometimes I had no idea where exactly I was going only to later learn I had no idea how to get home.

I had no friends to talk with at 2 in the afternoon. And that, I realized, seemed to be the real issue.

I consider myself a pretty independent person. I don’t feel that I need a lot of people around me at all times. I don’t feel that I need to be within driving distance of family members (though it was nice). I have always had a few girl friends spread across the world but never a core group in one city. There were days when I wished I could just call up a friend and met her for coffee in the middle of the day. But, alas, I did not have a friend on the island.

So I wished for one. And then I got four.

I think I took “friend time” for granted when I had it.

Though I was certainly not addicted like some people I know, I did watch a bit of the TBS-edited versions of Sex and the City. What captivated more than anything was the dynamic among the group of women. I realized as a girl in my young 20s that I did not really have a core group of girl friends and often thought to myself whether it might be beneficial. I started to wonder, by not having this core group, was I missing out on something important?

Last night I met a few friends for dinner. It was the first time that the four of us had been together in about a month. One member of my core group obtained full-time employment, two had been traveling and it seems schedules just don’t all line up anymore.

Sitting around a table talking about husbands, emotions and life in general was epic. I realized all over again the value of friends and the overwhelming relief experienced in one good session of friend therapy. I can say for certain that my core group is important to my survival and I do not want to be without one again. I heart friends.

No comments: